Saturday, March 13, 2010

Why not try lesbian polygamy?

I understand that the idea of marriage is sacred. I also understand as a lesbian, the fight for our right to legally marry each other being of the same sex is an uphill battle that will take plenty of time and effort to overcome. However, I cannot shake the feeling that there is more to love than the dreaded "monogamy." As a woman I question everyday why I don't just fit into the mold of what is acceptable for relationships. I do not believe that there is just one person out there for every person, instead I believe that a compilation of different aspects of many different people make up an ideal relationship for most people. Seeing how we are in fact animals, I do not see the reasoning in limiting yourself to just one person. I see new opportunities to express ones emotions and love through a plural marriage. Although lesbian polygamy may never be legally accepted, the idea has intrigued the masses for years. So ask yourself, "Why not?" Some may say this is a perverted ploy to have ones "partner" participate in some sort of sexual fantasy, having sex with multiple partners all at once. The idea of plural marriage is not just a way to have massive orgies, but instead a way to love and communicate with each other on a deeper level while maintaining family values and beliefs together. Although some families may choose to share a bed, this is not set in stone. Most women need companionship and love at different times as well as in different ways. Having to rely solely on one partner limits a couple to only find solace in each other, many times this can be a problem especially if these two individuals do not see eye to eye. Can you imagine a relationship where problems can be talked through in a group of lovers that can understand one another, instead of only having 2 people who both believe they are right. Although jealousy may come into play, a relationship like this should be built upon love of all the women. It is a natural emotion that has to be worked through together as any other problem would be. There are many pros to this idea, so far when I look up the idea of lesbian polygamy the only con that people have come up with is jealousy. The benefits of plural marriage include more hands in a household to insure that everyone is happy, more children is also an option, the added benefits of multiple incomes allows for a big household to thrive well. Although many lesbians feel there is one possible outcome to this scenario, it doesn't hurt to give it a try. What may work for some may not always work for you. Although currently I have been with my partner for the last 2 years we have not completely threw out the idea that a plural marriage might work for us. It is definitely something to discuss thoroughly, but definitely not something to dismiss quickly without thinking about seriously first. Would you want to eat the same thing everyday for every meal for the rest of your life? I think not...

10 comments:

  1. Oh my god, i am soooo happy to come accros this blog! I too am a lesbian in a relationship (7 years) and we have always felt very deep conection, love and trust between us. So the conversation about inviting sexual partners soon came up, but unfortunately we have not yet come to the realisation. Lately we have also come to talk about group marriage. It came to us naturally, we both feel that it would be something for us. We were just discusing that, and were thinking we might be the only ones with this desire (?)... I am glad we are not, so there is still hope for us :D

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  2. I have always wanted to have a plural relationship with women. But every woman I come in contact with say thats not good because they would be jealous. I think it is a strong bond to share with someone and you should be able to love freely.

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  3. I also have been thinking about the idea of a poly relationship, but it is sooo taboo in the community I live in . Good to know I'm not all alone :)

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    1. Oh, great, 2 more responses :D Well, Eva, what i have come to realize that mostly community is not always as we perseive it. This year i have done a looooot of research, found lots of different things, i never thought i would or that they even exist and so came to realization that there are many things going on i have no idea of and that maybe i should just reach out more loudly and that it would start happening to me. Well, it still hasn't happened to us, but we believe that if we are open, options will create themselves, hahaha :) But for now, at least, i am happy to even discuss this with people and see that we are not alone.

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  4. I too have come to accept this idea... I studied it- emotionally, mentally and spiritually just trying to educate myself and find out if this was the lifestyle for me.
    I am currently single, but it's great to know that there are other lesbian women out there like me.
    Thanks for posting everyone, and hopefully I will eventually find like-minded women in my area (all of the Poly groups are Pansexual or Bisexual)

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    1. Heeeyyy :)Where I live, there are no poly groups at all- as far as I know. Much less lesbian oriented :D
      I have been thinking about it for a long time. My girlfriend and I have been talking about it in different ways from almost the beginning of our relationship. First it was mostly about exploring our sexual boundaries- we still have not done it :) And than, little by little we explored ... well, life as we don't know it :D It was such a great , yet simple revelation to us. :)
      But still, I don' t think of it as "a must" (like, I can't be happy until it happens)- it is a possibility, it is something I see myself in, but it is not something I can't live without. I am very happy as it is, I do fell fulfilled with just one girlfriend, but it is such a sense of loving freedom, when you know, that you&your partner feel the same way and that you both feel that you can grow together in that way (in poly way). At least for us it is like that, I am sure, we all fell and think a bit differently :) It sure would be nice to hear from women who actually practice poly. There are many different ways to do it (and I follow a lot of blogs, read forums,books, watch series... :) )and you can certainly learn from each and everyone (after all, we all have similar feelings), but maybe a strictly lesbian perspective would be nice. I especially strugle with "how to do it" - like, logistically , how to live in lesbian triad, for example :)

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  5. I think this is a fabulous idea. I do believe that for this type of relatio0nship to be successful all of the women need to have equal amounts of love, attraction, respect, and trust to be successful. I personally would love to find this utopia :)

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  6. I too am soooo happy to come accros this blog! Even though I am a man for obvious reasons. The more the merrier as I always say.

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  7. I totally agree with you and feel drawn to the idea myself, I think love can be experienced in many ways and shouldn't be limited to just two ppl in a relationship

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  8. Honestly, I got lucky meeting two bisexual girls who loved me and each other equally. I'm bisexual, romantically lesbian, and a MtF Transgender. Where I live polygamy is illegal. But we all plan to find a way.

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